some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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