porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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