This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
