I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
