He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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