The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
