I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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