I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
