I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
