Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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