My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
