I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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