I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
