woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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