My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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