In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
