he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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