i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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