bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize