There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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