He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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