If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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