so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
