4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
