I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
