last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize