is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
