when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
