I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
