and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
