I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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