I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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