R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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