thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
