Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
