I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
