so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
