Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
