I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
