Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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