Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
