11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
