i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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