I hope mine doesn't look like that
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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