We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
