are you still at the devil's house?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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