My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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