Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize