You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
