Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
