Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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