The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
