I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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