She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
