they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
