Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
