You're my little dorito
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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