im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
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It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
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would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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