Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
