Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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