honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
