dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
