So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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