He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
