Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
