So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize