I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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