if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize